In June 2019 we sold our house with a pool and moved to the condo that had been our ‘beach place’. We wanted to simplify life. We turn 65 in 2020.
Duane was still taking care of kids at North Pinellas Children’s. We were loving our small group and friends at church. I planned to continue serving in BSF. And the mailings from Medicare arrived on a daily basis.
I loved our condo at the beach. Yet now when we were living here full time and friends smiled, “Aren’t you living the dream?!” I didn’t feel like it. Maybe it was the mess of the first weeks, but even after the floor was done and closets installed and filled, the unease remained. As I looked out at spectacular sunsets from the bedroom window, instead of marveling at the beauty, the unspoken idea that this might be our last place made me feel sad. Life felt smaller, which had nothing to do with square footage.
Duane and I talked about what God’s future plans for us would be. His friends were starting to retire, and that was making him think about what he wanted
to do. Duane knew from little things I said, that I was struggling with the change to full time life at the beach. We asked our friends to pray for us.
In December, our daughter-in-law Elizabeth mentioned enjoying listening to Carey Nieuwhof’s leadership podcast. On a Monday night, while Duane was watching football (again!), I listened to Carey’s 2 hour interview with Gordon MacDonald. He authored the bestsellers “Ordering Your Private World” and “Reordering Your Broken World.” His thoughts about his life and marriage when he was in his 60s were so inspiring I urged Duane to listen. We listened to their conversation three times.
We started talking. We spent hours asking each other questions about what we expected in the next few years. We said the things we had been thinking but were afraid to say. We went to sleep past our bedtime and then woke up in the morning with another fresh idea.
In 1975, when we began dating at Wheaton, Gordon MacDonald had taught a Special Services week at Wheaton, on “Relationships.” His ‘appearance’ now, with pivotal insights, was a ‘nice touch,’ God.
We had been looking to God for a new opportunity. That wasn’t happening. The only possibly new idea was starting a young couples group at church. I wasn’t sure how we would do that, since our condo wasn’t too far for us but too far for some.
“Have you had any answer to prayer about your future plans?” asked one of the ladies in my BSF group, when we got together after the Christmas break.
She knew we were praying for direction, even with a specific, “We’d like to know what to do by January 1.”
One morning at BSF, in a hallway conversation, a mom of one of Duane’s patients mentioned how often his work had been a ministry to their family. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard that. Then, a few weeks later, a favorite uncle, now 80, counseled, “The years I worked from 65 to 75 were some of my best.”
We kept searching, as January 1 came and went.
“The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Psalm 37:23
“I’m hesitant about living full time at the beach,” It felt good to confess to a friend. A little scary, too, as I didn’t have an easy solution. She wasn’t a bit shocked. She told me she and her husband, who had downsized, were considering adding on.
“You need more room, too. You and Duane like having people over.”
“He’ll flip out,” I answered.
She just smiled. “I’ll pray for your conversations.”
A few Wednesdays ago, on one of those rare, empty of time constraints, open afternoons, we plunged into talking more specifically about what we’re doing, and where and how. We talked about the size and location of our condo, church ministry plans, and Duane’s work.
Duane didn’t flip out. Instead, we figured out new ways to meet our goals. Age wise, we’re five years shy of seventy, but still in excellent health and love being actively involved with work, friends, church and family.
Last Sunday afternoon, we visited an Open House at a two bedroom villa (no maintenance!), near work and church. I could see us hosting friends for dinner in the spacious dining room. Within a few days, we were under contract. We’ll keep the beach condo, but split our time, as we were doing before. Duane loves his patients at North Pinellas Children’s, and plans to keep on working. Thursday afternoon we’re meeting with our pastor about a small group opportunity.
We’re ignoring the number 65, with gratitude that we do have our health and Duane has a flexible job.
I’m glad we’re not dead yet.
Thank you for praying for us.
We Will Dance
-Steven Curtis Chapman
I’ve watched the sunrise in your eyes
And I’ve seen the tears fall like the rain
You’ve seen me fight so brave and strong
You’ve held my hand when I’m afraid
We’ve watched the seasons come and go
We’ll see them come and go again
But in winter’s chill, or summer’s breeze
One thing will not be changin’
We will dance
When the sun is shining
In the pouring rain
We’ll spin and we’ll sway
And we will dance
When the gentle breeze
Becomes a hurricane
The music will play
And I’ll take your hand
And hold you close to me
And we will dance
Sometimes it’s hard to hold you tight
Sometimes we feel so far apart
Sometimes we dance as one
And feel the beating of each others hearts
Some days the dance is slow and sweet
Some days we’re bouncing off the walls
No matter how this world may turn
Our love will keep us from fallin’
And we will dance
When the sun is shining
In the pouring rain
We’ll spin and we’ll sway
And we will dance
When the gentle breeze
Becomes a hurricane
The music will play
And I’ll take your hand
And hold you close to me
And we will dance
The music will play
And I’ll hold you close
And I won’t let you go
Even when our steps
Grow weak and slow
Still I’ll take your hand
And hold you close to me
And we, will dance
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